God’s Wonderful Saving Grace

6 Jan 2020

I am Justin Carl Dayao and I’m 24 years old. I am in my fourth year of studying a course in Science in Ar­chitecture. I am a recipient of the Community Programme.

I grew up as a practising Catholic and was the third among seven siblings. I lived with my father for ten years. I still feel sadness and hurt towards my mother who aban­doned us.

The first time I came along to Cubao Reformed Baptist Church (CRBC) was when my sister invited me to join the Holiday Bible Club in 2008. When I graduated from High School I lived with my sister and started to regularly attend. I didn’t really listen. I thought doing “good works” was okay in the eyes of God and I didn’t pay attention because I blamed God for what had hap­pened to my family. Sometimes I would ask myself, “Why did this happen to me? To my family?”

I kept all the pain and hurt deep inside me until I became an adult. I didn’t do well in school. I rebelled, stole money just to buy what I wanted and to survive.

I learned that I am a sinner through the preaching, youth camps and Bible studies. However, even though I was attending these activ­ities, I still did not know our Lord Je­sus Christ.

One day, my sister encouraged me to attend church but I was hesitant and frustrated to the point that I punched the wall (cement board) and it broke.

I have committed sins that I know are wrong and displeasing to the Lord. I even came to the point of wanting to end my life because of depression: I was feeling a deep loneliness and tired of everything.

Then one day, I had no money to pay for my fare so I decided to walk back home. While walking, I came to a realisation of the sins I was committing, and I asked my­self, “What am I doing with my life? How am I before God? Why has it taken me so long to obey God?” I blamed myself for everything that had happened to me. I even thought of getting myself hit by a car to end everything, but at the same time I was afraid: where would my soul go? I remembered all that I had heard and learned, and the encouragement of the believers I have known. I regretted what I had done. I repented.

I now realise that God is so good and faithful in my life. The Lord has been merciful to me in spite of my sinfulness. Why would I end my life when in fact, He gave me life to glorify Him? He has blessed me with people who have been an instru­ment for me to know Him more and to understand His wonderful saving grace.
I realise now the wonderful provi­dence of God. Everything that happened to me had a purpose and was not by accident; the pain I suffered as a child was not an accident; why I be­came a recipient of CCM was not an accident; that time when I was walking and reflecting was not an accident. It was all God’s way for me to know about the Gospel and know the Lord Je­sus Christ and have a personal rela­tionship with Him. That is why I am thankful for what happened to me and what I have been through, for without all these hardships, I would not be here.

For the remaining days of my life, I want to serve Him with all my heart and soul.
J C Dayao